fun

[Investigator]

It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until

recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric

expenditure of different sexual activities. Now, for the first

time in the Western World, here are the true caloric benefits of

sex.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With consent....................................... 12 Calories

Without consent................................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands..................................... 8 Calories

With one hand...................................... 12 Calories

With your teeth.................................... 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection.................................... 6 Calories

Without an erection............................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:

Trying to find the clitoris......................... 8 Calories

Trying to find the G-Spot.......................... 92 Calories

POSITIONS:

Calories Missionary......................................... 12

Calories 69 lying down...................................... 78

Calories 69 standing up.................................... 112

Calories Wheelbarrow....................................... 216

Calories Doggy Style....................................... 326

Calories Italian chandelier................................ 912

ORGASM:

Calories Real.............................................. 112

Calories False............................................. 315

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging............................... 18 Calories

Getting up immediately............................. 36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..... 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years old.................................... 36 Calories

30-39 years....................................... 80 Calories

40-49 years....... ................................ 124 Calories

50-59 years....................................... 972 Calories

60-69 years...................................... 2916 Calories

70 and over...............................................Death

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly.............................................. 32 Calories

In a hurry.......................................... 98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door.............. 1218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door............... 3521 Calories